Goodbye To The Greats

The Losses of 2016

By Cecilia Majzoub

cece

Including the mystical artist Prince, powerful pro-wrestler Chyna, vibrant activist Alexis Arquette, eccentric performer David Bowie, and existential poet and musician Leonard Cohen, 2016 has been filled with the passing of idols who have infiltrated our hearts and made their marks on history. Although each of these colorful human beings continues to spark a massive impression, this is not homage to them; this is a eulogy to other icons that have passed and rocked the world this year.

Vine

The hardest death of all. We’ve all crashed to our knees laughing, possibly crying, over these enigmatic 6-second video creations only the millennial generation could create. Is Vine 21st century art? Absolutely, and we love it. Whether it was Russell Brand blundering through sentences, transformed into Blur’s “Parklife” or the “WOW” a teenage-boy uttered after a belly-pierced peer bellowed vape smoke, the gold produced via Vine is never-ending. This app will be missed tremendously. Goodbye, old friend…

Apple Headphone Jacks

Apple is really doing that. Why? I don’t know! No one knows! They think they’re ahead of the curve, but this is tragic. Apple just wants us to buy adapters, lining their pockets further. Call me crazy, but I want to charge my phone and listen to music…wait for it… at the same time! What a concept! Not to be dramatic, but I want to cry over this traumatic change that 2016 has brought upon us. I’ll never open Spotify in the same way again.

Abstinence-Only Education

Something we can all cheer about, the death of abstinence-only education! Goodbye to the ignorance that teens won’t have sex if you tell them not to, leaving the conversation at that. Obama cut funding for this sect of education, also proposing a $4 million increase for the Teen Pregnancy Prevention Program. Keeping students informed about their bodies is immensely important; studies have shown abstinence-only education has not proven to reduce the amount of sex that teenagers may engage in.

Silencing of Activism in Sports

Another positive death this year! Colin Kaepernick is our Bay Area champ, creating a revolution of sports stars speaking out. Professional soccer star Megan Rapinoe (formerly on the USA soccer team, even competing in the Olympics) took a knee at a recent match. Even the Berkeley High students took knees at one of their football games, which Vice news covered. This is huge! Obviously, companies and sponsors keeping their athletes quiet is still an issue, but the topic is being raised which seems to be the most important part right now; people who have platforms within an industry that shuns outspoken behavior are using their voices to start and perpetuate necessary conversations.

Marc Jacobs

The designer used locs on white and non-white models at a Spring 2017 fashion show, and tried to justify it by saying the complaints of cultural appropriation were “nonsense,” and that he finds it “funny” that people do not “criticize women of color for straightening their hair.” Wild. I would say rest in peace but, mmmm, I don’t care!

Gluten

I guess gluten has been disappearing for some time now, but abandoning gluten has become even more trendy as of late, and most establishments in Berkeley offer gluten-free options. Hooray for cardboard???

Ryan Lochte

While competing in the Rio 2016 Olympics, the wholeheartedly entitled swimmer Ryan Lochte decided to come up with a story to cover his partying shenanigans that ultimately re-enforced the unfortunate perception of Brazil’s people being corrupt and out of hand. Lochte is absolutely canceled. Can I get a helllllll Jeaaaaaaaah?

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